10 January 2008

i'm such a lazy person, with oh so many ambitions.

guess what???

i am officially able to substitute teach! i had an interview today....in "yale" of all places....a bit of a drive, but its $$$

i also was rather bored today....so i took some pictures....

which ofcourse happened after i broke my guitar string and could no longer play.

i am so ready for sunny days and summer nights....please don't be far. although, newspapers read snow is in the future....


08 January 2008


i need to work on a new website for it....any suggestions for servers to use?

06 January 2008


tonight was horrible. it couldn't have stressed me out more.....ironically, i barely ate anything all day.....so food was not the issue.

my whole day was great until about 8:30 when i accidently drove my car onto traintracks and got stuck...how, you ask? well, after i got out of work [sam's club] around 7, i waited around for this one kid b/c he needed a ride to our work "holiday party" which was at some banquet hall in town. he didn't end up getting out until almost 7:30 so we showed up to the party late. once we finally got there, the raffle tickets were about to be called and after about a half hour i was tired and already to leave. i asked "dude" if he wanted to take off, and he was game, so we got in my car and went to pull out of the parking lot. now, the parking lot exit has traintracks that run right across it....which is totally ridiculus....but anyway i went to turn right and my car ended up falling onto the tracks [like the one tire got caught and when i had tried to move forward it acted like a rollercoaster car and i moved down the tracks slightly] there was an almost pothole-like dropoff and my car ended up on a diagonal and stuck in snow and mud and i couldn't get out at all. all the "he-men" that were already at the party [the ones who weren't laughing and taking pictures, mind up] decided that they could lift my car...sort of successful but i have a feeling they caused a lot of damage...i called a tow truck and awhile later i was rescued.

talk about feeling like an idiot. i don't even want to show up to work. on top of it all, i just got my car fixed and two new tires put on. guess what happened to one of the new tires......the rim bent right into it! nice huh? not to mention its out of alignment now...

i am wicked broke. i still have to pay for my books for school and now on top of it all...this. $65 for the towing hopefully under $50 to fix the tire and i pray to god nothing else it wrong with it.

i always feel like i'm screwing up in one way or another. i am always costing money, breaking things, losing things, messing up........its always the same story. then, when accidents happen...its unbelievable.

i was wicked scared to come home tonight. when i had called my dad he was soooo angry. when the tow truck dropped me off, he said nothing when i came in the house. when i went to talk he stopped me. then when we went to bed he hugged me hard and said "i'm glad your safe". no matter how much i try, i will never be able to give that man what/who he needs [especially my mother].

i'm so stressed. i need to sleep.